Why Engagement Rings Are Sexist

This thought occurred to me during a summer where 3 of my friends from college all got married within a 3 month span.

Now I realize I'm likely to piss off every woman who is in a serious relationship and just begging that her boyfriend finally shuts up and purchases that sparkily peace of jewelry that means finally yes someone loves them and they won't end up as the crazy old lady down the street with 4 cats and who always talks to herself at the bus stop.

But if you really think about it, the whole notion of engagement rings are sexist, and frankly unfair to us men. We are supposed to go out and according to the diamond industry spend two months salary (that's GROSS salary boys not net) as a way to pledge our undying love for this woman and to publically show that this woman is officially off the market. There are some people that say the goal is to also show the woman's family that you will be able to provide for her by making an "investment" in a ring.

But do you notice who has to do the pledging? The GUYS! Here it is the year 2005 and for all intents and purposes it could be 1945 with the regards to engagements. Why should the man have to be the one that "proves" his love and ability to provide for the family? Aren't women to be equally capable of being the bread winners of the household? If you really think about the men get screwed (not literally--well maybe literally but that's a different conversation). We're the ones that have to do everything and it's not like we get anything out of the deal (well yes we get your eternal love...thanks honey)...I mean at least we used to get dowry's it may have been a goat or a bushel of hay but at least we got something out of our "investment".

So why does this process continue? The only reason why, because we continue to allow it. We've been suckered into buying what the DeBeer's corporation has been selling since 1938, joined later by the likes of Cosmo.

Now before all the women in the world burn me in effigy, I must clarify that I have no problem with getting a girl an engagement ring. What bothers me is the inequality of the situation. That we men are supposed to do and spend everything. This is what needs to change, it's time for the women to give a little.

I know what you're going to say, well Dave some women ARE proposing to their men and buying them "engagement" rings. Poppycock I say! First of all they're not true "engagement" rings as they always end up being the guy's wedding ring, whereas we men not only have to buy the engagement ring but later have to pony up the additional money for a matching wedding band. Second of all men's wedding bands are easily 30% of the price of a woman's engagement ring. Lastly what man has been dreaming of getting an engagement ring? None. Frankly women DO dream of the day they'll get proposed to and what the ring will look like. They care about all of the shit like how big it will be, the cut, is it gold, white gold or platinum, etc. Men don't care about that stuff.

So what is the answer? Well to get something that men DO care about. I propose (no pun intended) that the modern liberated woman should step up to the plate and begin getting their men engagement items. It is about time that you girls start pulling your own weight in this regard. Start proving your love to US, and your ability to provide for US. Both parties should be on equal ground here.

But Dave, what is an appropriate "engagment item" for my Tom, Dick or Harry?

Does Tom love movies? Does he drool every time he walks into Best Buy? Then give him the ultimate sign of love and buy that 42" Plasma HDTV set he fantasizes about when you're in the other room. Just think he probably won't even complain when you want to watch The Notebook on it because of how he can every pore on Racheal McAdams face.

Is Dick more of a wide open road, rough neck? Then get that motorcycle that will allow him to feel like a wild child, even though he always comes home at the end of the day to you (instead of hooking up with that tramp at the local bar).

What about Harry, who teams up with his buddies to rescue the hostages or to overcome the Undead plaguing the town. Then get him that system which will allow him to see all of the explosions in the greatest detail.

You might be saying, my John is much more of a sports nut. So why not get him season tickets to one of his favorite teams? After all, doesn't your heart just melt when you get to sit next to him and hear him question the parentage of that ref?

If women started doing this I garrentee you men would be less commitment phobic. After all, then we'd know that we were marrying a girl that was accepting of us, and willing to help provide a good home for us.

So sure honey, I've got that ring for you.....once I see the this lil puppy sitting in my living room.